Does Luxury Have To Be Bought?

Happy Sunday everyone, this weekend Adam and I have deep cleaned the house. We made five different lists, one for each space, and we’ve worked HARD. Honestly yesterday we were cleaning solidly for well over 10 hours! We have rearranged furniture, repotted plants, tidied, cleaned, polished, sorted, decluttered and it feels great. Throughout the cleaning process I’ve been considering about how I feel about my possessions and my wardrobe in particular. What things I value and why I value them.

Now I’m sat with a cup of tea and honestly, I’ve got a bone to pick with fast fashion. In my first month of giving up ready-to-wear clothes I have made a conscious effort to consider when I buy clothes and the reasoning behind these purchases. Often I like a shopping trip to cheer myself up or to celebrate a promotion, to purchase a few new items for the next season or just to catch up with friends. Shopping trips like these are normally social occasions or they result in the little emotional purchases that make you feel better. These aren’t too hard to cut out because I can just go do something else with my friends or I can partake in the ultimate endorphin high which is of course fabric shopping . Really the only time I go out or online with the very specific goal of “shopping” is for occasion wear.

In the past, whenever I have had a formal event and don’t know what to wear I hotfooted it on to Missguided or Asos to select something gorgeous, slinky and that could be with me in under three days. Purchasing evening wear like this is of course partly for convenience but also because it has never felt like something I could or should make for myself. When you go to a black tie event you don’t want to feel homemade, when you think of black tie events you think of chic women in Chanel, the idea of a homemade dress in those surroundings is jarring. Or at least this is what the fashion industry has taught us to think. This is how we have been conditioned to feel and it makes me angry because the reality is very different.

On the one hand you have an admittedly expensive designer gown bought in a shop made in one of the standard women’s sizes. Its not shaped to your body, its not designed with you in mind, its designed for their ideal consumer, to reflect their image. On the other hand you have a homemade gown tailored by you for you. You choose the fabric, you choose the pattern, you choose the fit, as garment a home-made evening gown is quintessentially you. If you were to go to a high end event and told people you were wearing a handmade tailored gown they would be impressed, as soon as you mention that the tailor in questions is in fact you that feeling turns to mirth or grudging respect or even worse, requests to make them something similar.

Why should we be made to feel as we aren’t good enough in our me made wardrobes? After all every single piece of clothing is made by somebody, clothes don’t just appear. Honestly, I’m done with it. Of course other people’s opinions don’t really matter if they haven’t got anything nice to say then quite frankly they should shut it but its the fact that this isn’t an isolated one or two people this is an example of social conditioning that is prevalent in books, films, magazines and television, from Cinderella’s homemade dress being torn to shreds to the shopping montage in Pretty Woman. Expensive clothes don’t make a woman and if they do I don’t want to be the kind of woman they make. I will admit there is a joyous sense of giddy luxury in buying yourself something gloriously expensive and decadent but honestly I got the same feeling buying my first proper sewing machine! I get that same feeling when I spend a lot on a dinner for my partner and me, I get that feeling when I book a luxury hotel for a holiday and on those occasions I don’t also receive body-image issues and self-doubt alongside the purchase.

So what am I going to do? You’ve heard the rant, now here is my personal solution. There are two prongs. Firstly, I have reviewed my current evening wear wardrobe and got rid of anything that I don’t absolutely love myself in so if I need a dress super urgently I’ve definitely got something to hand. Secondly, I am aware that occasion wear is a weak area for me because I honestly adore it. So! Last week I bought 2-3m of second hand pale blue satin from a lovely instagram destash account. That fabric has now been stored carefully in my fabric box and I am currently marking appropriate patterns that I own and PDF one’s online that would work with this gorgeous structured mid-weight satin so that if I need a really stunning dress and want something new, I can satisfy those cravings at home and make myself something beautiful tailored and 100% me.

All clothing is made by somebody so my next evening garment might as well be made by me. I will learn a lot by making one and I won’t be contributing to a global system of oppression. Sounds like a win to me!

Living Without Fast Fashion: Why Do Brands Send You So Many Emails?

It’s a grey, rainy morning in Surrey and I am sat at my desk deleting emails. I know, what a riveting start to a blog post. Since I gave up fast fashion I’ve got to find something to do with my time! The emails I’m deleting are the endless missives from desperate brands with eternal sales trying to make me buy their clothes. I hate to say it but in my weaker moments these emails work on me. I have to delete them without reading them because otherwise I will be knee deep in the French Connection sale before you can say ‘fast fashion’. The emails are a problem, particulary the frequency, but they are not the root, they are entirely symptomatic of the way we consume fashion.

I would argue that in a lot of ways purchasing has been reduced down to pure impulse. Very rarely do we consider what we already own or if we will even wear it, we just get tempting offers with bright ‘girl power’ slogans fired straight into our inbox telling us to treat ourselves. Due to advances in online shopping technology, its entirely possible to go from receiving an email to buying a garment within 5 minutes all on your phone. Of course you can unsubcribe, but often its not about not wanting to receive the emails, its more than most of us don’t even think about them.

What I’ve realised since making a concrete effort to renounce fast fashion is that, the email isn’t just an email. The email gives you permission to browse, it gives you the justification, ‘but there’s a sale on’ or ‘I’ll just look at the new collection’ and then before you know it you’re buying an entire winter wardrobe. It’s often not even about resisting the emails, its about becoming conscious of them and their purpose. It’s absolutely fine if you want to receive the emails and actually use them as a purchasing tool, you do you! But if you are trying not to consume then unsubscribing is the first step and as I do want to give up fast fashion and absolutely refused to be beset by fast fashion brands in my own home, unsubscribing is what I shall be doing.

As I’ve told people about my commitment to give up fast fashion, I’ve had some supportive reactions and some of genuine confusion. Let me get one thing straight, I love shopping and my friends know that. I actually find it relaxing although occasionally irritating when you can’t find jeans that would fit an average human female under 5’4″ with hip bones. Crucially though I like shopping in person, I don’t often buy clothes online and if I do I often regret it. My number one reason for online shopping pre-lockdown was for occasion wear. I’m definitely not an ASOS haul person. It feels dedicant and wasteful to buy that much online without even trying it on and to be honest it feels desperate. Shopping for me is an experience. It’s going out with my mum or my friends, it’s physically going into shops, touching clothes for quality, trying on new things and going out for lunch. Its an occasion. That’s most likely why I find these emails so jarring, they don’t fit with my experience of shopping. For me its not about convenience, if I go for a shopping trip the trip itself is an integral part of the experience. In a lot of ways it makes it easier, if I don’t go into shops, I wont shop, simple.

As I’ve mentioned previously, I am approaching giving up fast fashion as I would with a major life change, holistically. From figuring out my what my own style looks like to literally not budgeting in shopping money, I’m trying to find the ways that fast fashion has permeated my life and how I can make the shift. Removing myself from as many subscription lists are possible is my first prong of attack. As these emails do work on me, its vital that trigger to consume is removed. So here’s my first piece of advice if you’re trying to give up fashion as well, if you’re looking to start giving up fast fashion, start by unsubscribing from your favourite brands. It doesn’t matter if you love them, you can always visit the website of your own volition but remove the email trigger. It’s the same premise as stopping a snack habit by just not buying snacks.

Instead I am directing that urge towards buying fabric and then imposing a fabric limit. I bought a lot at once and now I have a couple of months worth of projects to work on. I am going to celebrate every make and ensure that come September I start making things appropriate to the season so I don’t have to go out and buy a winter wardrobe, another weak point of mine in the shopping calendar.

So after my marathon session of unsubscribing I’m going to make a cup of tea and start some sewing. I’ve got a massive project coming up and I can’t wait to get started. Build that excitement over every make the same way you do for a big purchase. The release is the same you’ve just got to train your brain and remember that no one, no one else will have what you’re wearing if its me-made. See I think that giving up buying fast fashion clothes is the easy part, disengaging with fast fashion culture? Now thats the hard bit.